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Everybody's Gay But Me
Pie for Billy
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Sitting in the parking lot of my old high school,
My friends grew up, but I'll stay here where I rule,
They're talking 401-k's, hanging with different folks,
While I'm still sending them your momma jokes
They all ask me why I stay here, why I never leave,
I ask them plain and simple, what the fuck would growing up achieve?
Everybody's gay but me!
Sipping kombu-cha, talking therapy,
They all got jobs and they all got taste,
While I'm still screaming, Hey, that's kinda gay!
Everybody's gay but me!
Jen got married, Mike's a dad,
Tom just bought a plant, why the fuck would he do that?
They're all so fuckin' boring, they're all so damn mature,
Why would I grow up, just to be a gay entrepreneur?
I miss the days when we could laugh about stealing our parent's cars,
Now they're all planning for retirement and wasting nights in wine bars
Everybody's gay but me!
Sipping twisted tea underneath the cork tree,
They all got jobs and they all got taste,
While I'm still screaming, Hey, that's kinda gay!
Everybody's gay but me!
Everybody's gay but me!
I'll be the last one laughing at the wake, probably
They'll all grow up, they'll all move on,
And I'll still be here screaming this song
Everybody's gay but me!
Everybody's gay but me!
Sipping kombu-cha, talking therapy,
They all got jobs and they all got taste,
While I'm still screaming, Hey, that's kinda gay!
Everybody's gay but me!
Everybody's gay but me!