SHEILA
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I stayed up at my house watching CMT
Thought I'd have a late night snack
So I headed to the kitchen on a commercial break
When something called me back
It was the sexiest voice that I'd ever heard
Coming out of my television set
Said, "Call now, you can hear me live
And I'll tell you about my naughtiness"
So without hesitation or further ado
I grabbed a hold of my Visa
And dialled the number flashing on my screen
1-900-SHEILA
You can tell it all to me
I'm your phone fantasy
1-900-SHEILA
So I kicked back in a recliner
And on the second ring she whispered
"Hello, this is Sheila, your credit card number, please"
I said, "How much will it cost
For this here trip to paradise?"
She said, "You can't put a price on love"
That's another $4.98 minute went by
After an hour of conversation
She had me chewing on the receiver
I worked up a sweat, I was out of breath
Over 1-900-SHEILA
You can tell it all to me
I'm your phone fantasy
1-900-SHEILA
Like a man possessed, I dialed her number
Morning, noon, and night
And slowly but surely we fell in love
As my phone bill shot out of sight
After so many costly heart to hearts
I just had to meet her face to face
She wouldn't give me her home address
So I had her number traced
Well, I thought it'd lead to a passion palace
Some penthouse in the sky
And I must admit I was a little let down
When I found her in a Double Y (A Double Y?!)
That beauty that I envisioned
That goddess that drove me crazy
Answered the door with a cigar in her mouth
And weighed in at over 280
They say love conquers all, well I reckon it's true
Even when it's for a fee
We said, "I do" and now we're one
Though she makes two of me
And she talks to me, no charge
Every time she takes a breather
And I'll never have to work
As long as all you jerks dial 1-900-SHEILA
You can tell it all to me
I'm your phone fantasy
1-900-SHEILA