Nightmare [Explicit]
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Drink it up, people. Drink it up. Yup. Here's some drinking tips
Never get drunk when you're wearing a hooded sweatshirt, 'cause you
Will eventually think there's someone right behind you. Here's
Something else I've learned drunk: There's no way ever to talk your
Way out of wiping your ass on someone's pillow, even if you yell "
Surprise." Own up to it. Be a man. You ever black out when you're
Drinking, or as I call it, time travel? Yeah. You're in a bar, you're
Drinking, you black out, you wake up, you're in another bar. You're
Drinking, you black out, you wake up, you're at McDonald's. Working
There about three years, still not assistant manager. You wanna quit
But you're banging that girl on the fryolator. They say she's
Retarded, but those titties ain't retarded. Oh. I'm sorry, is that an
Eminem tune? I don't know. Yeah. You guys are drunk too, this is
Good. Where are the drunks? Here? Where are they? Yeah? How about
The potheads? Are the potheads around here? There you go. We finally
Meet. The drunks and the potheads, they rarely get together
Except on that show Blind Date. Now I'm a drinker, man. There's
Only one drink I don't like: eggnog. How did they think that up?
"I wanna get a little drunk, but I also want some pancakes." Do
You know what eggnog really is? You're not gonna wanna hear it
But I'll tell ya: elf cum. That's what it is. You might as well
Pour it on your back and slap yourself on the ass. But I don't wanna
Tell you how to live your life, alright? You do what you do, alright?
All the great writers were alcoholics, am I right? Hemingway, that
Other guy. Where are the great pothead writers? I'm sure they're
Out there, but do you really wanna read a whole book by a pothead?
500 Pages on why if you put a hat and glasses on a dog it looks
Like he could drive a truck? Nobody cares. But I think pot should
Be legal, I do. And I think if your cousin is super hot you should
Be able to fuck one time. Alright, I took it a little too far. Sorry