The Baby Show
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You've all seen the Lord Mayor's
Show, the Flower Show and the Motor Show
But there's one thing I'd like to know, have you seen a baby show?
I saw one not long ago it filled me with delight
And if you'd been there I know, you'd love each tiny mite
Hear them hollerin', hear them hollerin', at the baby show
Lots of chubby ones, lots of grubby ones, laid out in a row
We had babies from the Isle of Wight,
we had babies that were black and white
Tall ones, small ones,
what a funny site, all singing "eeny meeny miny mo"
Maudes and Lillians, Jacks and Gillians,
sane and silly'uns, plain and frilly un's
Hot and chilly un's, there were millions at the baby show
Hear them hollerin', hear them hollerin', at the baby show
Lots of sandy ones, lots of bandy ones, laid out in a row
We had babies wrapped up in a shawl,
we had babies with no clothes at all
Long ones, wrong ones,
like a rubber ball, all singing "eeny meeny miny mo"
Janes and Nelly'uns stiff and jelly 'uns,
quiet and yelly 'uns, sick and welly 'uns
Cohens and Kelly uns, Big fat belly uns at the baby show
Hear them hollerin', hear them hollerin', at the baby show
Lots of dolly ones, lots of jolly ones laid out in a row
We had babies from the Hebrides, we had babies from the Pyrenees
Dumb ones, rum ones,
some with shaky knees, all singing "eeny meeny miny mo"
Mays and Mary 'uns, rash and wary 'uns,
plump and spary 'uns, round and squary 'uns
Bald and hairy 'uns, vegetarians, at the Baby show