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Chemicals
Hannah Koivu
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It's the way you say "I hate you"
Like you're telling me "I love you"
Like it's a secret that you just had to share
It's our Polaroid in your pocket at the party
That you won't let out of your sight
Because you really care
You can lie to me
You can lie to your friends
You can say that we're nothing more than friends
But we both know
Something was happening
Maybe it's the chemicals
Maybe they're a drug
Maybe it's not what it seems
Maybe it's not love
But nothing ever hurt so bad
Than wondering if what we had
Was even real
It's hard for me to say
We both know it's not true
I've given you some space
But just so we're clear
I hate you too
It's the way you say "I don't care"
Even when I know you do care
Like you're too scared
To face how you feel
It's the way you held my hand
When we were driving
As if you would never let go
I guess that wasn't real
You can lie to me
You can lie to yourself
You can be with her
And put me through hell
But we both know
Something was happening
Maybe it's the chemicals
Maybe they're a drug
Maybe it's not what it seems
Maybe it's not love
But nothing ever hurt so bad
Than wondering if what we had
Was even real
It's hard for me to say
We both know it's not true
I've given you some space
But just so we're clear
I hate you too
You said I was cute when I was crying
So I've done it several times since
First because I loved you
And then because I missed you
And now it's cause you don't even exist
How do you grieve for someone who's still alive
But they'll never be in your life again
It hurts like you were dead
Is this withdrawal
Or am I just heartbroken
Maybe it's the chemicals
Maybe they're a drug
Maybe it's not what it seemed
But I fell in love
And nothing ever hurt so bad
Than you saying what we had wasn't even real
I'm gonna be okay
Trust myself again someday
I'll get over you
But just so we're clear
I hate you too
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