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Rumination

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I find myself stuck in hopeless cycles A loop that always seems to repeat itself And it's not like I don't try to just dig myself out But when I do, the dirt just keeps caving in It's been a few years stuck like this Now I ponder and realize That I am actually quite comfortable living like this In my own world content with living like shit Although at the back of my mind I really do know that I shouldn't be thinking like this But I seem to find comfort in this hollowness And now being empty Fills this fucking void Until the next pathetic attempt to get myself out And thus the cycle repeats Can I crawl my way out? Or is this how it should stay? I could end it all? Or continue to face my reality I could end it all? That sounds good to me And sleep for eternity I'm in love with The feeling of nothingness That It's now the only thing keeping here But I still try to dig myself out And the dirt just caves in I feel trapped And it's by my own design It's all my own doing I feel trapped And it's by own design With the lower that I sink This void seems to begin to fill And once that I've hit the bottom Maybe then I will begin to feel like I'm alive again Like I'm alive again