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Little Ones' ABC
Noël Coward
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🇬🇧 English · Original
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The little one's ABC
A, B, C, D, E, F, G
H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O
Oh, what a jolly little jocular
Group we are
Blah, blah, blah
Hush, dear
Oh, vocalise and harmonise
When mother cries "One, two, three, go!"
Try, if it's possible, to keep on key
Sing the letters after me
Just how corny can you be?
If you sing when you are blue
You'll find you never have to care a rap
When the skies are dark and grey
You just say "What a lot of crap!"
P, Q, R, S, T, U, V
And W, X, Y, Zed or Zee
This is my personal recipe
For the little one's ABC
A stands for "Absolutely anything"
B stands for "Big brass bands"
C stands for "Chlorophyll"
D stands for "Dexamyl"
E stands for "Endocrine gland"
F and G don't suggest a thing to me
Nor do H, I, J, K, L
But after L comes M for "Mother"
And mother's going to give you hell
A stands for "Artichokes and adenoids"
B stands for "Boats and belts"
C stands for "Cottage cheese"
D stands for "Dungarees"
E stands for "Everything else"
G, of course, stands for "Getting a divorce"
And F sometimes stands for "Fridge"
But if I really were your mother
I'd throw myself from Brooklyn Bridge
A stands for "Romeo and Juliet"
B stands for "Ku Klux Klan"
C stands for "Bethlehem"
D stands for "MGM"
Z stands for "So's your old man"
F and G stand for "Home in Tennessee"
And we know H stands for "Stoats"
But after P comes M for "Mother"
And mother'd like to slit your throats