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Time for Sport
Hannah Gadsby
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Now it's time for sport.
I don't watch sport as a rule.
I find it too tense. You know?
Too tense,
and too boring
at the same time.
Heady mix.
But I do like an occasion.
Like it's one of those things where, again,
it's an easy way to connect to a large group,
so I give it a go.
I like an Olympic.
I love watching inequality play out with medals.
It's a really easy way to keep tabs.
And I also watched the World Cup last year.
The Women's Football World Cup.
Did anyone, anyone?
Yeah, it's a good time. Good time.
I wanted to watch that specifically
because I had read that there were going to be
over 90 Out athletes participating.
I know, it's incredible.
I'm thinking,
In my life time?
That's amazing!
Back in the day
we weren't even sure
if there were even 90 of us - total.
Let alone 90 fit ones.
Generally speaking,
there were only ever two of us.
There was -
there was Ellen
and whoever was thinking about Ellen.
That is still a step up
from the generation before.
All they had was Alice.
*Alice? Alice? Who the f*ck is Alice?*
Alice is the cleaner from the Brady Bunch.
Yeah, it's there if you want to see it.
But now - we have 90 out athletes.
On the world stage.
And I'm all for it.
I love representation.
I really do.
Particularly passive representation
where I don't have to be it.
I f*cking love it.
So I watched it.
Great time, good time, no notes.
What a- what a- what a sport.
Beautiful, beautiful game, no notes.
But.
I didn't feel particularly represented
by that lot.
So many ponytails!
And nail art.
F*ck me!
Great choices.
Just not my choices.
And also without exception
they're all very fit and motivated
and I find it really hard
to plug into that.
And, at the end of the day.
I can't pretend I don't have hands.
There are very few instincts
I have in this life.
But the very few that I have,
involve me having hands
and using them.
It is about at this point that
people like to point out
the football loophole there, right?
They're like
'You could be the goalie -
They use their hands -
You could be the goalie!'
No!
I will not.
Not on that team!
No!
No, thank you.
No!
Uh uh.
Because I would know
If the ball ever got to me,
I would know for a fact
that my team mates
did not do
everything in their power
to help me.
It's not enough.
It's a bit too much like real life, isn't it?
Help!
*Aw my hands are tied.*
I reckon there would of been a lot of sex
in that athlete's village.
And it pleases me.
For them. Not me.
I don't want to join in.
It's a - it's a conceptual exercise.
But my mind always turns to process.
How?
How do they?
Do they...
just do a lot of scissoring
and tribadism in general
because they're so used to
pretending they don't have hands?
Or is it more like,
'Oh I can't afford to pull a hammy,
but I won't be needing these tomorrow!'
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