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Growing Up
Craig Shoemaker
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Don't you laugh at me, babe
Yeah, I'm the love master, baby
Yeah, don't you laugh at the love master, baby
You keep smiling, you can chip a tooth over there
Come on now, you hear that ringing?
That's a call on the boom-phone, baby
Answer the damn thing, I ain't got call waiting, babe
I'm the love master, master, love
I'm looking at you, I'm harder than Final Jeopardy
That's right, baby, I'm the love master, master, love, baby
Come on up here, walk nasty for me, baby
Come climb the magic beanstalk
Yeah, fee-fi-fo-fum, lay on down and I'll make you-
You know what I'm gonna do for you, baby
Yeah, I love you so good your neighbor will have a smoke
That's right, baby, I'm the love master, baby
I was circumcised by a bandsaw, baby
When I get excited, the blood bank goes on emergency alert
That's right, baby, I'm the love master, baby
I got a magic trick for your birthday, baby
Pick a number between 68 and 70, that's right, baby, yeah
What are you laughing at back there?
I'll stir you a drink from right here, baby
I got a drink, it's a penis colossus
That's right, baby, I'm the love master
You wanna take a picture? Set that camera on panorama, baby
Better get a wide-angle lens right there, baby
That's me tapping you on the shoulder right now, baby
Yeah, don't turn your head, you'll get a black eye
Oh my god! Where did that come from?
I am so sorry
It channeled through me
A penis colossus, that was so gross
Oh, what a visual
I'm sorry, it's gone now
Erase, erase, erase
Yeah, I'm back, baby
Don't worry, we'll have safe sex
Go get me a hefty bag
Yeah, you like those Ball Park Franks?
This plunk before you cook it, baby
I'm the love master, baby
I could hold two dozen donuts right there, baby
Oh yeah, I'm only kidding
I'm only two inches, yeah, from the ground
Yeah, they measured me
The tape measure said, "To be continued"
That's right, baby, yeah, that's right
They wash my jock, it's on full load, baby
It's a Snickers bar
It's packed with peanuts and it really satisfies
I'm looking at you, baby
Come on, topa no kill a lie
Oh my god!
I am so sorry
Erase, erase
Keep that big mouth open, baby
Yeah, keep that
Yeah, you keep that open, I'll give you the gag order, baby
Yeah, oh
I'm so sorry
Oh, erase
Yeah, no
Oh, no!