I'm Not Good At This Adult Shit

Trevor Moore

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🇬🇧 English · Original

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[Chorus] Holla at ya boy I'm at the 7-11 parking lot, Patron and La Croix Well into my 30s and still permanently lit Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit [Verse 1] I've been a grown-up for a long time now Can you help me tie this tie? Because I don't know how All of my friends have good jobs, houses, pensions, and stocks But moving on is an achievement I can't seem to unlock My clothes are all arranged in a giant pile I think my cat is dead in there 'cause I ain't seem him a while Wear clothes four days in a row, smoke cigarettes in the shower When I was a kid, by now, I thought I'd work at Nintendo Power If you invite me out to something I'm probably gonna pass Tonight is the high school reunion of my senior class They're all talking 'bout their children, wives, and career paths While I'm at home, high as hell making dick castles in Minecraft I call this beauty the "Wang Trade Center" It gets hit by penis planes on the 11th of Schlongtember And never forget, better yet, always remember Not a single penis plane hit Tallywhacker 7 ever See upcoming rap shows Get tickets for your favorite artists You might also like making the bed Olivia Rodrigo Kitster’s Song Trevor Moore What Was Wrong With Swiping Trevor Moore Jizz fuel cannot melt steel boners But insurance paid off double to their Bilder-balls owner I know, that was a sophomoric rhyme But that is not all that I'm doing with the years of my prime I also run a forum for hentai of Land Before Time This is Little Foot and Ducky engaged in a 69 But it's embarrassing to be this age and still start to sweat When someone asks to use your laptop for the internet Here we go, this game is called "Autofill Russian Roulette" And there's only 3 safe letters in the alphabet left Oh god, please don't let 'em type a "Y" or a "P" Or an "X" or an "R" or a "T" or a "B" Yo, on second thought, hey, give that laptop back to me Angle the screen and discreetly click "Reset History" Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit [Chorus] Holla at ya boy I'm at the 7-11 parking lot, Patron and La Croix Well into my 30s and still permanently lit Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit Holla at ya boy I'm at the 7-11 parking lot, Patron and La Croix Well into my 30s and still permanently lit Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit [Verse 2] Huh, maybe I don't respect myself Taco Bell four times a week, I don't do this for my health But I cannot eat at home because it always makes me nauseous Brita filter ain't been changed since W was still in office Yeah, take to the streets, we runnin' all this Donuts in the parking lot down at where the new mall is So while you sit and watch TV with your dumb wife and dumb baby I'm out there bombing the city and got the whole squad with me Yeah, the squad's pretty much just Raoul He speak English no that good, but he still seems pretty cool He doesn't know it, but he's probably like my closest friend He lets me read magazines without having to buy them Dinner at a gas station, taking out some cash Eat an egg salad sandwich standing over the trash Got so much garbage in the car that I can't see out the back My entire grocery list is just liquor and snacks [Bridge] Every day, when I wake up, I eat a bag of sour worms Every day, when I wake up, I eat a bag of sour worms Every day, when I wake up, I eat a bag of sour worms Every day, when I wake up, I eat a bag of sour worms [Verse 3] It's time I grow up, but I don't know how to start For Halloween, I gave kids Nicorette and old Pop-Tarts Sleep with the TV on, 'cause I'm not cool with the dark And I'll turn around and go home instead of parallel park Friend's wife is breastfeeding at brunch on the strip Put my shades on so they can't tell I'm trying to see nips Still need to ask them both to help me figure out what to tip Then take an Uber home because it's noon and I'm pretty ripped And I don't know if it's heroic or depressing as shit But don't think I'll figure life out, so I might as well quit And if you ever get tired of trying to work it all out You know where to come and find me if you wanna hang out [Chorus] Holla at ya boy I'm at the 7-11 parking lot, Patron and La Croix Well into my 30s and still permanently lit Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit Holla at ya boy I'm at the 7-11 parking lot, Patron and La Croix Well into my 30s and still permanently lit Yeah, I'm not good at this adult shit