i Buttermilk Boy
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Yeah, she pays no mind to methods you employ
She wants a big city man, not a country boy
Go get your long hair cut, scrape the mud off your boots
Yeah, wash the hair behind those ears
Buy yourself some tailored suits
Oh, buttermilk boy, better gain some pounds
Before she lets her knickers down
He wants a muscley man, all gristle and bone
Makes no difference how you strive
She couldn't care if you were dead or alive
A burly beefy strong armed man
Is all she cares to meet
Before you ever heard the word it's hard
Yes, your mother used to see her as a big star
Yeah, she spent your two years in Chopper Liberty
And I hear tell you can't even get insured
For a clacked out.45 tom hat boy
Oh, buttermilk boy, better gain some pounds
Before she lets her knick-knick-knick-knickers down
He wants a muscley man, all gristle and bone
She'll tear you down like a spear coming through
But like I said, she ain't no use to you
A lumpy hairy mundane brain
Is all she cares about
So let me put you straight, marry five-yard Kate
She weighs two hundred pounds, he said
She'll keep you warm in bed
Oh, buttermilk boy, better gain some pounds
Before she lets her knick-knick-knick-knickers down
He wants a muscley man, all gristle and bone
So you like to think you know what it's about
But she'll suck you in and then she'll blow you out
Yeah, Kate'll keep you satisfied
Till either your body or your tail give out