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Dentist!
Christian Borle, Ari Groover, Salome Smith, and Joy Woods
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๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
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Lyrics
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Translation
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When I was younger, just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shooting puppies with a B.B. gun
I'd poison guppies and when I was done
I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head
That's when my momma said
What did she say?
She said, "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay
You'll be a dentist"
You'll be a dentist
"You have a talent for causing things pain
Son, be a dentist"
Son, be a dentist
"People will pay you to be inhumane"
Inhumane
"Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist
You'll be a success"
Here he is, girls, the leader of the plaque
Watch him suck up that gas, oh my God
He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?
Oh, that hurts, I'm not numb
Aw, shut up, open wide, here I come
I am your dentist
Dentist, goodness gracious
"And I enjoy the career that I picked"
You love it
"I am your dentist"
Dentist, pretty braces
"And I get off on the pain I inflict"
You really love it
"When I start extracting those molars
You girls will start screaming like holy rollers"
And though it may cause my patients distress
Distress
"Somewhere in heaven above me
I know that my momma's proud of me"
'Cause I'm a dentist and a success
Say "ahh"
Ahh
Say "ahh"
Ahh
Say "ahh"
Ahh
Now spit
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