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Eat Shit Bob!
John Oliver (Ft. Brian D'Arcy James & The Suck My Balls Bob Dancers)
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[JOHN OLIVER] Eat Shit, Bob! - Last Week Tonight
We went to court
Against the world's worst sport
And learned important lessons on the way
We spoke with perfect candor
And got accused of slander
'Cause Bob Murray wants to make us pay
So even though he'll threaten
Legal armageddon
We have just one tiny thing to say:
Bob Murray can go fuck himself today!
Ladies and gentlemen, to help me better respond to Bob Murray's complete bullshit, please welcome to the show The Suck My Balls, Bob Dancers!
[THE SUCK MY BALLS, BOB DANCERS]
Murray, Murray, Murray, Murray
Hey, Bob!
Watch this!
He went to the Louvre and spit in Mona Lisa's face
Filled a rocket with puppies and he shot it into space
He bludgeoned Nancy Kerrigan and watched her cry for fun (Why?)
He murdered Archduke Ferdinand and started World War One!
That's right, if we discuss Bob Murray in a way no reasonable person could construe as factual, we can say whatever the fuck we like! So come on everyone, let's head to the streets!
Ahhh
Murray, Wow!
He'll stroll into a stranger's home and jizz right in their Wheaties
He watches โSteel Magnoliasโ and roots for diabetes
He wrote the Macarena
And he dots his I's with hearts
And even worse, he likes to blame
Malala for his farts!
Hey! What's the big idea?
We're using protected speech to tell Bob Murray to eat shit!
Bob Murray?! Is that the guy who dipped his balls in my hot dog water?
That's exactly who I'm talking about!
Can I bring my cart?
It's not ideal
It'll be fine if I leave it here, right?
I DON'T KNOW!
Murray, Murray
He doesn't like Tom Hanks
He cut off Van Gogh's ear
Told Hitler to quit painting and to find a new career
He masturbates to Schindler's List
Old Yeller makes him hard
He was Cosby's drug supplier
Jeffrey Epstein's prison guard!
Stop! Everybody, please! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
John, as HBO's legal counsel, please stop.
I have something very important to say
One day at the M&M Store
Bob Murray walked through the door
He wasn't wearing pants that day
His dick and balls on full display
(Full display!)
He grabbed M&M's from a bowl
And crammed them up his (Anal Hole!)
He spread his buttcheeks far and wide
He told the tourists to look inside! (Look inside?)
He said "My rectum's full of treats!
Reach in there and grab some sweets!"
(Grab some sweets!)
These are all real things Bob Murray did!
See you in court, fuckface!
Look! It's Mr. Nutterbutter!
We're singing about Bob Murray! I believe you've heard of him?
You mean the Zodiac Killer?
That's the one!
Well, my friends and I have a little something to say about him!
Bob
Bob Murray
Is
A furry
Putting aside our personal quarrel
The man fucks
Squirrels!
The man fucks squirrels!
Eat Shit, Bob
Eat Shit, Bob
Hey! I know where we should go!
Ooooh, Aaaah
Murray, Murray
Eat shit, Bob and...
Hey, Bob!
Is this is as bad as you feared?
It doesn't count as slander!
'Cause it's way too weird
We made up these anecdotes
They're silly and insane
We could go on and on and on
And on and on and on and on
But we will stop this song
Who knows, we may have fried your brains
SO EAT!
SHIT!
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!
YOW!