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Jock Allan's Advice
Original Off-Broadway Cast of Nevermore, Jonathan Christenson
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"My boy, I've been meaning to speak with you
Oh, don't worry, it's not at all bad, it's just
Well, my boy, it's time that we had a wee chat
Man to man!
Time you began to consider your future
To develop a plan
You are, after all, now thirteen
And by then I was already earning my way
Why, by your age, I was well on my way
To becoming the man that I am today!"
There comes a time when every man must certainly
Assume the mantle of responsibility
He must ensure his future financial stability
Choose a profession with commercial viability
And though it's clear that you are full of creativity
The time has come when you must face the harsh reality
That antiquity and art and even poetry
Have very little true utility
Discipline, obedience
Fortitude, perseverance
To cultivate these qualities
Quite simply makes outstanding sense
Duty, ooh, and prudence
They will help you go the distance, oh
I'm certain Edgar you can sense
These features make a difference
Edgar, none will notice your refinement or gentility
Unless you've a profession with financial viability
So you must abandon your artistic proclivity
For it will earn you nothing more than notoriety
A reputation can be spoiled by such a tendency
Not to mention future financial dependency
So if you want to taste the honey sweetness of prosperity
Mark my words I'll stand you in good stead for all posterity
Discipline, obedience
Fortitude, perseverance
To cultivate these qualities
Quite simply makes outstanding sense
Duty, ooh, and prudence
They will help you go the distance, oh
I start to see that you can sense
These features make a difference
Love is earned
Not freely given
And I have learned
From years of living
Nothing's free
All good things have a price
But Edgar
I'm sure you'll succeed
If you follow my advice
Edgar's interests after that shifted
From poetry, French, and Latin
To math, economics, the history of war
Which abruptly became his new passion
He focused his will on excelling at sport
More often than not he came first
And he showed a highly competitive streak
To command and control was his thirst
He even was seen as a bit of a hero
When early one morning in May
He set a new record for swimming James River
A record which stood for a year to the day
And each evening Jock Allan sat down with his charge
And revealed all the tricks of his trade
The secrets of being successful in business
To his young protégé
Jock even set out to provide all of the things
He himself never had as a boy
"Life is a struggle and frankly
We all need a few creature comforts that we can enjoy!"
The very best foods
The finest of clothes
All must be second to none
He even considered renaming his business
"The House of Allan and Sonnnnooo yeah!"