Dorset's David Hasselhoff
Ben Varney
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I'm Dorset's David Hasselhoff
Man I swear I'm blasting off
Like a million rounds fired out of a Kalashnikov
With the venom of an Aragog, and the courage of an Aragon
Know that the tenacity's my weapon that'll help me carry on
Yeah, thoughts fuzzy like it's analogue
Blasting off the stratus when I'm rapping, I'm an astronaut
Maybe I should be combative more, maybe I got the maddest thoughts
Maybe I'm a matador, or maybe I'm the bull
N I'm coming for you bastards, trying to get my own
Why'm I sipping slow on bottles to my spirit load
Gotta do better, cause I really be a monster man
I got the aura of some holy water in a Foster's can
Yeah, I'm that Daytona Beethoven
So I'm flame throwing, got this fucking stage smoking
Brain potent, consistency retains motion
Stay focused, know you're witnessing a great moment
Sometimes they ask me what it's like being this handsome
So I said
It ain't easy
Yeah
And then they ask
Ben, what's it like being on fire all the time?
I'm like, you know my reply was
It ain't easy
Nah
Gotta let em know
Stepping on the scene and I blast the bloody doors off
Carrying a sawed off, I'm rapping till my corpse drop
You're way too Korma
I'm demolishing a Dhansak while I let the bevvies pour up
Turn the stu into a sauna
Really though, know I really be the goat
Unbelievable, way I breathe these flows
I unseal your throat
Splitting your soul
Steady delivering gold
Right on the tip of my goals
The kid has been iller than most
Never been fitting the mould
Hell yeah
Every verse that I've written is like a murder conviction
Know I spit flows controlled with a surgeon's precision
And every word that I'm spitting I'm gon' convert it to millions
Now I'm bursting through ceilings on my journey purpose fulfilling
And I've worked for this feeling and I am asserting my mission
That Mr. Benjamin from Bagber really worthy of winning
And I am grateful for the trials and all the hurt I've been given
Cause I learnt to overcome and I think it nurtured me different
Oh Ben, what's it like looking like the real life handsome Squidward?
It ain't easy
It's not
They say Ben,
What's it like trying to come up with questions about what it's like to be you?
It ain't easy
It's not
Someone's gotta do it though
And there he goes
Bagber Superman
Dorset's David Hasslehoff
It's Varney
Dissection of a soul
2024