Happy New Year (Purple Version)
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Well, there's an overweight man and overweight woman
On the sofa watching TV
He's yelling his opinion at the television
She looks up from her food and she agrees
They got two bumper stickers on their pickup truck
They keep their pickup parked outside
One sticker says, "What Would Jesus Do?"
The other bumper sticker says, "The Power of Pride"
Now, I was thumbing through the stations on my own television
When I came across this guy on a religious station
He was singing a song I had written
It was called "Somebody's Coming"
He sounded whiter than me somehow
It took me back in time through dwindling joy
To when I was such a guilt-ridden Catholic boy
I'm evangelical agnostic now
That means I don't know what I'm doing here
And you don't either
Now, Christians, don't walk out on me just yet
You know exactly whose name I'm gonna be yelling
When I start clutching my chest
The one that my dad told me to and his told him to
And pray? I pray as much or more than you do
And believe? Every word I sing
But believing and knowing, those are two very different things
And if you're trying to change the way
That some stranger's life is going to go
I suppose this would be a good time to stick to what you know
Which is nothing, you know? So
Just chill 'til the next episode
Now back to the lecture at hand
Seems like my neighbor wants to kill what he can't understand
I say, "We can't just kill what we don't understand"
But I turn on my TV and I see, oh yeah, yeah, you can
We can and we, and we have since the dawn of man
For countless gods whose only real seeming plan
Is to see to it that clinging to life is our fate
And you got to admit, life is pretty great
But it's killing us, it's just killing us
Happy New Year, everybody
Happy Birthday, Country Joe
I resolve to do like I always do
I ain't hurting you
If, if life is anything, it's embarrassing
A rusty nail through a careless shoe
You can't help but sit around and wonder sometimes
Why there's never anything that the nail can do
Or think about how unfair it is
That that shoe is only going where it's gotta go, too
I mean, if you ain't the dumb kid out walking around
Well, you just kinda gotta do whatever you're born to do
Happy New Year, everybody
And specifically, happy birthday to you, Country Joe
I resolve to do what I always do
And I have only ever made it about a day or two
Father, forgive us for what we must do
You forgive us and we'll forgive you
And we'll forgive each other 'til we both turn blue
And then we'll whistle and go fishing in Heaven
And so that would be the end of "The Devil You Know"