Keep It Clean (The Fuck Song)
Sammy J
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Keep it clean? What does that mean?
You mean I can't say fuck? Cos fuck is obscene?
According to who? According to you?
Well what about me? Do I get to be offended too?
At a word of my choosing, and stop you from using it when I'm around
And I guess you'll say that it's not about you
It's society's view the word shouldn't be said
Well fuck me dead that's just passing the fuck buck
People like me and you are society too
And every time we don't say fuck, we pump that fucker up
Til it's fucking huge then everyone thinks the word ""fuck"" is rude
It's just like the royal family, this linguistic monarchy
Words that are born into privilege
And raised from the cot to be taught that they're not
Like the other words in the playground
But the poor word fuck must look around sometimes
And say โwhat the fuck, I tried to be a normal word
And I don't know how this occurredโ
But five hundred years ago some fat fuck in England
Preferred I wasn't heard
So he referred the word to the board of civility
Whose recent decisions included provisions
For tax offsets when keeping slaves
So their moral compass could clearly be trusted
And as a result the word fuck got adjusted
To one not befitting virtuous lives
Then they went home and swore at their multiple wives
And I guess you'll say there's a time and a place
And some people don't like the word fuck in their face
And I get that, I know, I'm just trying to show it's unfair
Cos I don't like the word moist; it offends me, it makes me feel ill
But everyone uses it still, if it were up to me
I'd outlaw moist and set fuck free
And there are other words as well, that have it far too easy
Like sluice and yeast and cumquat, gluten smegma womb and queasy
Cos every time we don't say fuck (fuck this) we pump that fucker up (fuck that)
And we justify the fucking fucks who still deny the fact (fuck them)
That everyone says fuck (fuck me) I do and so do you (fuck you)
And sometimes when I speak (fuck him) Only a fuck will do (fuck who)
It's fucking earned its place (fuck yeah) and saying fuck is fun
The world has lots of fucking problems
But the word fuck isnโt one.