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Chip on My Shoulder
[theatre]
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Whoa, Elle! What's up... doc?
Love
Excuse me?
I put my faith in love
I followed where it led
Love led you here?
To my personal circle of hell
It has not worked out well
I wish that I were dead
'Cause instead of a wedding and love
I'm flunking out of school
A total laughingstock
Someone he and his friends can just mock
So go on, here's my head
Just hit it with a rock
Wait! Uh, go back
(Sung)
You came out here to follow a man
Harvard Law was just part of that plan
Man, what rich, romantic planet are you from?
Malibu
Instead of lying outside by the pool
You stalk some guy to an Ivy League school
That's the weirdest reason I have
Oh, why'd you come?
Okay
(Sung)
I grew up in the Roxbury slums
With my mom and a series of bums
Guys who showed me all the ways a man can fail
I got through law school by busting my ass
Worked two jobs in addition to class
So forgive me for not weeping at your tale
Well, excuse me? Just because you'
Ve got some kinda chip on your shoulder
You know what? You're right
(Sung)
There's a chip on my shoulder
And it's big as a boulder
With the chance I've been given
I'm gonna be driven as hell
I'm so close I can taste it
So I'm not gonna waste it, yeah
There's a chip on my shoulder
You might wanna get one as well
Two jobs? Plus law school?
I haven't slept since 1995
Seriously, how do you do it?
Well, I don't go to parties a lot
Not good use of the time that I've got
Can't spend hours doing my hair or staying in shape
I don't spend hours
But I know it'll all be worthwhile
When I win my first lucrative trial
And buy my mom that great big house out on the Cape
That's so sweet!
No, that's the chip on my shoulder
I hugged my mom and told her
With the chance I've been given
I'm gonna be driven as hell
Though I can't take the day off
I just think of the payoff
You need a chip on your shoulder
Little Miss Woods-comma-Elle
No! I just need to prove to everyone that I'm serious!
What you need is to get to work
Make yourself at home
You drink a lot of Red Bull, don't you?
It gives me energy!
Where are those law books?
Uh, they're here somewhere
You know, this vanity's real picturesque
But it started its life as a desk
Clear it off and find some room for books instead
What are you playing?
Can you live without this?
Can you live without that?
I don't know what this is
It's for hair
Wear a hat
Spend your time improving what's inside your head
Out, out, put it in storage
Sell it on eBay, leave it behind
Out, out, what, are you angry?
Good, so get angry, you may find
The chip on your shoulder
Oh!
Ooh, the room just got colder
Hey!
But with the chance you've been given
Why are you not driven as hell?
There's just no way around it
You gotta plow through till you
Found it!
Been reading it hard, I can tell
'Tis a gift to be simple
'Tis a gift to be free
Mm-mm-mm, mm-mm-mm, mm-mm-mm
Bye, Warner! Happy Thanksgiving! Say hi to
Your mom and dad for me! And Grandma Bootsy!
What is this? My second? Third? I don't know, but I am loving it!
Mm, mm
Okay, define malum prohibitum
Malum prohibitum is
Is an act
Is an act prohibited by law, like
Jaywalking or chewing gum in Singapore
Therefore, malum in se
Is an action that's evil in itself. Assault
Murder, white shoes after Labor Day
Good. Where are you going?
Home, of course. It's Thanksgiving break, remember?
Interesting
What?
Well, I predict you will probably pass
Yeah!
In the bottom percent of your class
What?
If you're going for mediocre, you've done great
That's not fair!
Look, they laughed at me like they're laughing at you
We can't win if we don't follow through
Might I venture your vacation plans can wait?
Why do you always have to be right?
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
Bye, Warner! Merry Christmas!
Ho, ho, ho!
Emmett, this is my friend Paulette
Hi
Hey there
Uh, for you. Not quite as good as going home for Christmas, but
You are too sweet
It's a real time saver. It's shampoo and conditioner in one
Oh! Haircare? I love this guy. So I'll just leave you two alone now
Thank you! You are so adorable to think of me
Elle! Uh, hey, have you seen Viv? I've been looking everywhere for her
Yeah. I mean, no
Great! We're gonna miss our flight!
I don't know if you've noticed before
But each time Warner walks through the door
Your IQ goes down to forty
Maybe less
Uh
Though it's hardly my business to say
Could it be the real thing in your way
Is the very guy you're trying to impress?
Yes
I've been smiling and sweet
And thoroughly beat and blowing my chance
Let's not chase him away
Let's face him and say, "Hey, punk, let's dance!"
This chip on my shoulder
Makes me smarter and bolder
No more whining or blaming
I am reclaiming my prize
Grab that book and let's do this
Instead of doodling hearts all through this
Now there's a chip on my shoulder
[ELLE & (CHICKS)
Chip on my shoulder
Let's see him knock it aside
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Don't hurt Downton, dear
Show him that you're no fool
Don't hurt Downton, dear
Go back to school with a big chip on your shoulder
Mr. Latimer wasn't stalking
He was clearly within his rights to ask for visitation
Russell versus Sullivan
Russell was known to the mother
Latimer was an anonymous donor
Well, yeah, but without Mr. Latimer's sperm
Then the child in question wouldn't exist
Now you're thinking like a lawyer
Yes, Ms. Woods
Mr. Huntington makes an excellent point
But did the defendant keep a log
Of every sperm emission made throughout his life?
Interesting, why do you ask?
Well, unless the defendant attempted to contact
Every sexual encounter to find if a child resulted from those unions
He has no parental claim over this child whatsoever
Why now? Why this sperm?
I see your point
And by Mr. Huntington's standard
All masturbatory emissions where the
Sperm was clearly not seeking an egg
Could be called reckless abandonment
Ms. Woods, you just won your case
Oh my God!
Great! Hold on, he just won that case!
Oh my God!
And I got all of it for free!
Oh my God!
I am starting to like this place!
Oh my God!
Ms. Woods, excellent work today
I assume you're applying for my internship
Do you have a resume?
I'm one step ahead of you
Here you go
And thanks in advance for your consideration
Dear God, it's scented
Three months ago, I would have recycled this
Make sure to put it on file
Guess she got a chip on her shoulder
Maybe some wise man told her
With the chance we've been given
We gotta be driven as hell
She was something to see there
I'm just happy I could be there
First big test and she aced it
She's so close she can taste it
She got a chip on her shoulder
Guess you never can tell
With little Ms. Woods comma Elle
Elle Woods
Woods comma Elle
Got a chip on her shoulder
Elle Woods
Woods comma Elle
Got a chip on her shoulder
You know you never can tell
Elle Woods
Woods comma Elle
Got a chip on her shoulder
With little Ms. Woods comma Elle
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