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Reduced Possibility; Engendered Determinism

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work the days away suicide by increments busy doing nothing who will remember you? I am so small yet yearn for so much more sense of loss with no object abstract desire; unfocused detached nostalgia for ...what? my chest only swells at the thought of things that cannot be I break my own heart project my love deep into illusions so it will shatter with them sentimentality for the lack thereof petty, superfluous, material beyond my control that this is all I can grasp it's fine by me honestly it's for the best it must be