Southern Food
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I always eat the local specialty, 'cause I'm a pig
I did this big tour of the southern states
And I'll tell you something, people in the south are nicer
They are
Even when they're rude, they're nice in the south
They're like, "Y'all can go to hell"
Well, thank you, you too
People in the south are nicer, but they're slower, right?
And I don't mean intelligence-wise
They just move slower
It's like, "Hey, your house is on fire"
"All right, all right, I'll get to that
But first, I need to drink me some sweet tea
Then I'll deal with that pesky house of mine"
And I figured it out
It's the biscuits and gravy
Everyone in the south moves like they've just had two helpings
They're like, "I shouldn't have had that second helping"
This is a nine-year-old I'm pretending to be, I missed that
In the south, they're eating biscuits and gravy for breakfast
They're not coming home drunk late at night, like
"I don't want to eat anything"
They're waking up and they're like, "Time for cement, um, um"
Lunch, chicken and waffles, um
The south will never rise again 'cause they don't have the energy
'Cause most of their dishes involve papier-mรขchรฉ
They're essentially eating piรฑatas down there
That's why they talk that way
Because after you eat biscuits and gravy
You can't be expected to say, "You and all"
"Good biscuits and gravy, y'all"
I'm surprised they even say "biscuits and gravy"
Gabby gabby gab, uh-huh
And I'll tell you something, those biscuits and gravy are amazing
I had biscuits and gravy for breakfast for nine days straight
I still haven't gone to the bathroom
That tour was 27 years ago