Lonely Nights
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I been feelin' frozen, I got used to lonely nights
A broken sinner living under heaven's ghostly lights
Excuse me If I do me but this is my only life
Bitch I spit religiously, the booth's a holy sight
Under a blanket of stress
I got so much on my mind, I'm a mess
I don't pretend to be fuckin' depressed
It's not an act, it's as bad as it gets
Wish it was something I couldn't express
Suicide's prowling', I feel like I'm next
Went through some shit that I couldn't project
All the emotions are feelin' suppressed
I'm living' a lie, I been dressed in disguises so much
I don't know who I really am
There's secrets and things I been hiding' for real
Like almost as much as the city has
I makin' a name for myself
But what good is it if I am dead and I'm really sad?
My spirit been missing', the devil done took it
And ever since then, I been feelin' bad
Mistaken for something I'm not
I'm just a loser, ya'll must have forgot
My heart is beating, I hope it don't pop
Fuck everybody that wants it to stop
I been so down I don't know what to say
So I just smoke all these feelings away
I been so busy just tryna' get paid
Figured I might as well die with some bank
Bitch I been feigning to roll up the dank
Fuck I been feigning to pour up a drank
Living' in hell so I try to escape
I need a reason to cope with the pain
All of my problems done fucked up my brain
Losing my mind, shit I might be insane
It's like my freedoms were wrapped up in chains
But ya'll don't know why, so lemme explain
Simply a victim since I was created
I hate it man, dammit, just look what you did to me
You banished and labelled me crazy
But guess what, he last thing I want is your sympathy
If I am reborn in this world
Then I promise that I will do everything differently
If Heaven and Hell turn out to be real
Then I would be burning up instantly
I'm on the brink of insanity
I been a part of too many calamities
Fuck everybody, fuck all of humanity
I wanna live in a different reality
One like a fantasy, leave out the agony, tragedy, savagery
Actually leave it all in
We love to sin, evil within
Everyone has it, I seen what it is
Friends turn to enemies, hidden identities
Fuck all the snakes in my life, ya'll are dead to me
Lost in my thoughts, I've been losing it mentally
I'm just a hollow collection of memories
I'm nothin' special, just wandering energy
Dempsey, my purpose is penning these elegy's
Someone worth loving' is somethin' I'll never be
Sadness and sorrow, no joy and serenity
Constantly questioning my own existence
I said I'm finished but nobody listens
I could let go but it won't make a difference
When it's all over, I'm not gonna miss it
My soul is broken, it's too late to fix it
I never fit in, I feel like a misfit
Nobody came when I needed assistance
Now I got too many drugs in my system
They look at me funny but fuck it I'm crazy
Keep turning they backs on me, doing 180's
So fuck everybody, it's too late to save me
I hate my reflection, but how could you blame me?
I follow a shadow that's driven to take me way down to the bottom
Where they would embrace me
A place where they wouldn't all judge me and hate me
This world that I live in, It fuckin' betrayed me
Lonely nights, I hope I die, the sun won't shine again
This time when I close my eyes, they'll never open wide again
I feel trapped inside this body in this artificial skin
I been suffering so long, I'm just a fuck up, I'm convinced