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Survivor

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I donโ€™t want to be a survivor anymore What doesnโ€™t kill just makes me wish it had The end of knowing, the beginning of wondering Drowning in the shallow end I miss who we were back then Giving in / giving out Wearing thing / lifeโ€™s about these seasons & the scars they leave Itโ€™s the end of knowing & the beginning of wondering I donโ€™t want to be a survivor Snip the heart nerve & cauterize Snip the heart nerve & cauterize Just hold your breath & close your eyes Do what you can to not be here Just clench your teeth & bottle up your tears How do I feel better when I canโ€™t feel anything at all I donโ€™t want to be survivor anymore Something went wrong some time, & now Iโ€™m just alive at the bleeding edge of mercy Sometimes I worry I couldnโ€™t give away tickets to my funeral