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Caked Up in Another World! (Episode 1)
Jake Hole
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Once upon a time, Jacques Hollier was struck by a 2008 Nissan Sentra
And he awoke in another world, suddenly tasked by its people
To defeat the seโ the Demon King
ย
Episode one: The Butt Wizard
Huh, woah, huh, huh
I don't know where I am, in a whole 'nother world
In a whole 'nother place, in a whole 'nother, ah
Woah-oh-oh
And I think they need a hero
That hero might be me
One second I'm walking, next thing I'm dead
At least I think, at least I guess
Wake up in a village with some pain in my head
Middle of a barn with some pigs in the pen
Got hay in my buttcrack, wipe it off 'cause I don't want that
Saw a little sigil on my back, it's a butt tat
Never had that, so about it I must ask
This village was weird, no cars, no cellphones
No lube, no buttplugs, nothing
Just horses, and bows, and swords, and beggars galore
Abundant, in dozens
I'll jerk for some change, medieval brain
Please sir, let me touch it
No thanks, but where is your leader?
And if he's a dude, is he big in the wiener?
Our king Coctavius is down at the theater
He's watching a show with his sidepiece Peter
Our leader wears a cape and a robe
And underneath it he's packing a sleeper
I traveled in deeper, exploring the town
Chasity cages and buttcheeks out
I'm at the theater, what do I do now?
I guess I go in, big steps I go down
Your Majesty, may I speak to thee?
Who dares to speak with me?
I'm busy with Peter, so leave me be
Or I'll call the guards for disturbing the peace
Wait, that sigil above your booty
It's impossible, it can't be
The prophecy's been fulfilled
You're the hero this whole world needs
Ancient magic flows throughout your body
Your mana is fueled by your gayness
It comes from your anus
And so I must say this to all of my people
I must make a public statement
I don't know, like, I just got here
Keeping it a buck, I don't feel that strong
But I guess if I'm really that top-tier
Then I guess I can stay a li'l long
He sent me to train at the Booty Academy
An evil presence arose from afar
Demon King tryna bring forth tragedy
Gon' suck men off so he can just harvest mana
That big gay energy
Charging up a big gay centerpiece
Obelisk full of big gay entropy
That'll destroy the whole world eventually
Eeh, eeh
Huh, woah, huh, huh
I don't know where I am, in a whole 'nother world
In a whole 'nother place, in a whole 'nother, ah
Woah-oh-oh
And I think they need a hero
That hero might be me