Skip to content
Lyric
Dive
Public playlists
My playlists
Search
Sign in
Fan Appreciation
Lisa Lampanelli
Popularity ยท Low
+
๐ฌ๐ง English ยท Original
0
0
Listen
YouTube
1
2
3
0:00 / 0:00
Loading YouTube player...
Lyrics offset
Synced
Lyrics
Original
Translation
Bilingual
You know what my favorite part of the show sometimes is, you know?
Going in the lobby and meeting fans afterwards
I can't wait 'til I'm famous enough to not have to do it ever again
And sometimes people say some dumb stuff to me
Oh my God, if you ever meet me
Please do not come up to me and say, "It's my birthday!"
Oh really, bitch? Guess what? We've all been born, yeah
Just 'cause today's the day your mother squatted and you
Fell out of her stink box doesn't mean you get a free CD
And don't come up to me and say, "It's our anniversary!"
Oh really? I'm 47 and single
I'm not happy for you!
ย
In fact, you know what? If you can
Prove you're over 45 and can't get laid
You get a free CD, so dude, I will see you after the show
ย
Let me ask you guys something, 'cause you've been very cool, very cool
You guys have a good time so far? Yay! That's awesome
ย
Well, it is obviously a special night, so
I can say something kinda real to you guys
Alright, you guys all know that I had a very public
Embarrassing breakup last year with Pothead Tommy
So tonight was nice, 'cause I see
Lots of happy couples that inspire me
So thank you guys for putting me in a good mood
And proving that laughter is the best medicine
Thank you for doing that
ย
I can't believe you bought that load of crap, you retards
Now you know how stupid it sounds when you
Type it to me in your little MySpace comments
"Lisa, I am a woman living with lupus
And laughter is the best medicine"
Okay, those of you who laughed are evil bitches
That was said so I could see who the meanest twats in this place are
Congratulations
Disgusting
I am appalled
Whenever I get an email like that, I feel touched in my heart
I'm like, "Wow, I should probably answer
That, but they're probably dead already"
Oh well
Actually, I love getting emails, I must admit
Fan mail is fun, but occasionally I get a really nasty one
Listen to this shit
About a year ago, I had myself a chinchilla coat made
Because blacks love chinchilla, I love blacks
Therefore, blacks would love me in chinchilla
So, I get the coat made, I wear it on Howard Stern
There's a great picture of me online
Get this, I get this angry email from some dyke
ย
"You know"
That's wrong, that's wrong, I'm sorry, that's wrong
"You know, do not use fur for fashion"
Can't you just hear the Birkenstocks flopping up and down?
The underarm hair flailing in the breeze?
"Do not use fur for fashion
Here's a picture of what a chinchilla looks like alive"
And I'm like, "Ah, here's a picture of what 42 look like dead"
ย
Wow
ย