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When I'm Drinking
Adam Harvey
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I guess some things come naturally
Like walkin', talkin', and ABC
I'm even good at workin' while I'm sleepin'
But one thing I don't understand
Is how to make my body listen to my head
And I believe I'm goin' off the deep end
You see, I went to a bar, just the other day
And saw a blue-eyed beauty, and I had to say
"Am I the handsome devil at whom you're winkin'?"
Then I told myself to drag her out the door
And one punch later, I was flat on the floor
'Cause can't talk to myself when I'm drinkin'
No, I can't talk to myself when I'm drinkin'
I convince myself to do the opposite of what I'm thinkin'
My mind says yes, and my body says no
I even come runnin' when I have to go
'Cause I can't talk to myself when I'm drinkin'
So, won't you please help me, I'm a drunken fool?
When it comes to common sense, I've broken all the rules
I'm a drinkin', I'm a thinkin', "I can't wait for the weekend"
I even thought o' callin' the cops for fun
So I could on myself for all the things I've done
'Cause I can't talk to myself when I'm drinkin'
No, I can't talk to myself when I'm drinkin'
I convince myself to do the opposite of what I'm thinkin'
My mind says yes, and my body says no
I even come runnin' when I have to go
'Cause I can't talk to myself when I'm drinkin'
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Oh, I can tell myself to go on home with you
I can even convince myself to say, "I do"
But tomorrow mornin', when I sober up
And see you with your curlers and your coffee cup
One thing I must ask myself
What the hell was I thinkin'?
'Cause I can't talk to myself when I'm drinkin'
I convince myself to the opposite of what I'm thinkin'
My mind says yes, and my body says no
I even come runnin' when I have to go
'Cause I can't talk to myself when I'm drinkin'
No, I can't talk to myself when I'm drinkin'
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