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It'll Be Good, I Bet

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She said come and ride with me, I got into her SUV We drove halfway cross Tennessee on bellies full of Waffle House coffee Spirits full of old folk music days trips down to Chattanooga I didn't know anybody I didn't know anybody Used to live on St. Laurent a house that made us all real sleepy Dark walls and dark sheets and sweating in the summer heat we're dreaming We don't dream like we used to no, we don't seem like we used to no Industrial dreaming industrial streets, dark dark house with dark dark sheets My momma takes us all to church whenever I can visit And it smells like ancient incense and the lace the ladies wear On their heads like fancy pilgrims fancy pilgrims with good hair And my mom's not Southern Baptist but the drama is so there Sometimes I want to shout the preacher into different politics Sometimes the things I used to say, gets me feeling kinda sick Rough callus on my neck is gone my love for violin lives on But classical can't have the hold it used to have on me Won't pretend I'm a fiddle player or a future pop punk star Don't know what next semester holds sometimes I just can't plan that far Ahead and she asks what I need to get through my next winter I click on twenty apple seeds this game is such a good distraction Don't starve your people! Give them a church! Appreciate the art that went unnoticed in my childhood Appreciate the context for why some people have it so so good Keep criticizing and we both know that's all that we'll do Some people love the negative but just cause I like blue Forms and figures I don't know I can't keep that stuff straight I can't tell you if art is good are you too critical well I can't say I'm learning to shut up when organizing with my friends! But beliefs like that should be intimate and songs don't need resolving ends She braids my hair like we're in grade school... I got really mean to people Just because you don't notice doesn't mean it's not true I know it's something I do I sit at cold desks staring at the lines and numbers on the papers My pen makes dark marks but it's almost like they're not mine They say that in your thirties things feel a lot more like resolutions What's the answer? Did I study? Will she hate me if I cry? I built farms and waffle houses. Why do all my people die? Never in my life have convictions felt so right Never in my life have I felt so at home Never in my life have decisions felt so jarring Only one survivor in my data town alone