Baldheaded End of the Broom
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Well, love is such a very funny thing
Catches the young and the old
Just like a plate of boardin'-house hash
Many a man's been sold
It makes you feel like a freshwater eel
Causes your head to swell
You lose your mind for love is blind
And it empties your pockets as well
It's boys keep away from the girls, I say
And give them lots of room
You'll find when you wed that they'll bang you 'til you're dead
With the bald-headed end of a broom
When married folks have lots of cash
You find that the love is strong
But when they have to feed on hash
Well, the love don't last so long
With a wife and seventeen half-starved kids
I can tell you, it's no fun
When the butcher comes around to collect his bill
With his dog and his double-barreled gun
It's boys keep away from the girls, I say
And give them lots of room
You'll find when you wed that they'll bang you 'til you're dead
With the bald-headed end of a broom
Young fellas, all take my advice
Don't you be in a hurry to wed
You'll think you're in clover 'til the honeymoon's over
And then you'll think you're dead
With a cross-eyed baby on each knee
And a wife with a plaster on her nose
You'll find that your love don't run so smooth
When you wear your second-hand clothes
It's boys keep away from the girls, I say
And give them lots of room
You'll find when you wed that they'll bang you 'til you're dead
With the bald-headed end of a broom