Vasectomy
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Well, I went to see my doctor
I said "Doc, I can't pay my bills
The rent's all spent, the truck's got a dent
And I think I'm gettin' the chills
From bein' forced to sleep alone
You see, this house just ain't no home
I can't afford no kids, my life is on the skids
'Cause my woman says leave me alone."
Unless you get a vasectomy
You ought to get a vasectomy
Just one little male alteration
Can keep us from another altercation
Get a vasectomy
You ought to get a vasectomy
Oh, what a vas deferens there could be!
Well, the next thing I know, I'm layin' on the table
With a light shinin' in my eyes
They strap my wrists, they strap my ankles
And they double-strap my thighs
The nurses were a-gigglin' and I was a-wigglin'
Most uncomfortably
When the doc walked in with a perverted grin
And here's what he said to me
"It only hurts for a little while
That's what they tell me, that's what they say."
Well, it's two weeks later and I feel a little better
My mind is more at ease
The rent's still spent, the truck's got a dent
But my woman's no longer a tease
And even down at the office
There is a lot more interest in me
The girls all grin when I walk in
And brother, they mean to please
A man with a vasectomy
You ought to get a vasectomy
Like a fun-kissed orange, I've been squeezed
'Cause it's all juice and there's no seed
With a vasectomy
You ought to get a vasectomy
Oh, what a vas deferens
It's beginnin' to make a little sense
Oh, what a vas deferens there could be!
Here is the part that I like the most
It takes the danger out of bein' close
Oh, what a vas deferens there could be!
They snip those little suckers right in two
And they clamp 'em off with superglue
Oh, what a vas deferens there could be!