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nature nurture make her hurt her
callie flemming
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There's a place that I go
Where nobody can find me
Nothing to feel and nothing to see
But the glow of the bottle held up to the light
And the sting of relapsing on a Friday night
I should be on the town
With the rest of my friends
But I'm nursing my spite and my loathing again
Everclear, my dear, oh how I've missed you
There's a voice in my ear telling me it's an issue
I know how it goes
Yes, I'm aware, I made a mess
Blowing out my sutures
Enough about my alcoholic past
Let's discuss my alcoholic future
It feels so normal
And that's why I'm scared
Was it you? Was it me? What the fuck, who cares
I'll save the dissection of all of my flaws
For the day that I step into therapy's jaws
At the end of the day
I got nothin' to blame
But my selfish desire to feel okay
I know it's unhealthy, but what can I do
I'd rather not think than think about you
Yes, I'm aware, I made a mess
Blowing out my sutures
Enough about my alcoholic past
Let's discuss my alcoholic future
Did I get it from my mother
Or did I get it from my friends
None of that will matter when I'm dead
I promised you the world
But all you got was me
Just a stupid little girl
Trying to sabotage her body
Tonight I let me down
Just like I always have
Swear I'll make these feelings drown
Swear I'll split this fucking scab
It doesn't really matter
How many sober years I broke
When you're up there ogling at her
And all I can do is hope
I'm hurtling to my twenties
Is it really a surprise
Take a good look at me, honey
Am I having a good time
Little miss slack-jawed schism
For a while we thought you really had it
I never struggled with alcoholism
In fact, I think I was pretty good at it
I don't have a drinking problem
I'd call it a drinking solution
I feel fine when it's over
I just fuck up the execution
Does it matter how I got there
If they like me when I'm done
There's nothing wrong with having just a bit of college fun
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