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Im Not Broken
Shadow Beloved
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There's a war in my chest when the world goes still
Overthinking every thought until it kills
I smile like I'm fine, play the part on cue
But inside I'm lost in an endless loop
The clock keeps ticking but I can't move
Every breath feels like there's more to prove
They say just breathe, but they don't know
How heavy it gets, when it won't let go
I've memorized every ceiling crack
From nights I swore I wouldn't come back
The static in my head that won't fade out
Every thought's too loud or too drowned
I'm trapped between what is and what I fear
And I can't tell which one brought me here
I'm holding on but I don't know how
Trying to find myself somehow
In the static I hear my name
Maybe I'm not broken, just in pain
My reflection looks like someone else
A stranger living inside myself
I fake the calm, but I'm on fire
Every heartbeat wired with barbed wire
People talking, I fade away
I'm not alone but I'm miles away
It's not that I don't care or feel
I just can't tell what's fake or real
It's loud inside when the world is muting
Silence screams the absolute
Static in my head that won't fade out
Every thought's too loud or too drowned
I'm trapped between what is and what I fear
And I can't tell which one brought me here
I'm holding on but I don't know how
Trying to find myself somehow
In the static I hear my name
Maybe I'm not broken, just in pain, eh
Some nights I talk to the ceiling lights
Ask them if I'll ever feel alright
They flicker back like they understand
Maybe the dark ain't all that bad
There's static in my head but it's fading slow
For the first time, I can let it go
I'm still scared, but I'm still here
And maybe that's what courage is
Not clear, I'm holding on, yeah
I'm still proud, of every breath I take out loud
In the static I found my name, I'm not broken
I just change
Just me and the quiet now
It's not so loud
Oh, oh
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